Me, at 18 and acting like Shakespeare

For some reason the other day, I remembered that our high school yearbooks had quotes in them. Quotes that would surely give you an idea of who I really was and what I firmly believed in life.

So here it is, compliments of Lindsey, who has now emailed this to me twice from NH. (Happy Birthday, Lindsey Spagnola!)

Just another example of my fantastic paint skills and my ability to always think of my friends.

Good god.

First, “In life and love, you must get what you want to get what you want?” Really? Couldn’t have googled “most profound quotes in life” and picked a better one?

Actually, I just googled that and found nothing. This means one of two things. First, no one cares about this quote and so it never pops up in a search or TWO, and this would be amazing, at the age of 18 I thought it was time to just start creating my own quotes and then quoting myself. Jesus. I know I’m full of it but REALLY, HEATHER? Or maybe I just typed it in wrong just now, who knows.

And then of course I went with Shakespeare, to really give you a peek into my soul.

Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under’t“–Shakespeare, Macbeth (1.5.745)

I assume I thought it would make me seem well-read. I’ve never even read Macbeth so I assume I googled, “Poetic quotes that make you seem dangerous, yet beautiful, yet very witty and intelligent and have to do with gardens.”

Though that quote isn’t bad.

Then I wondered, jesus, did we even have google search when I was 18, which made me google “What year did google search come out” and it led me to 8 articles on something in 1998 WHICH MEANS I HAD ALREADY GRADUATED MEANING:

1. That made me feel old
2. I don’t even remember what was before Google search unless it was that Jeeves guy that I never took seriously
3. Did I randomly find these quotes in actual books which I highly doubt because that would have required effort
4. When I googled “What was before Google” I felt like any sort of offspring of mine would be at a severe disadvantage in life
5. Apparently it wasn’t Jeeves, it was Archie, and I bet Siri, that mouthy bitch, thinks she has something on both of them.

I just reread that I never took Jeeves seriously and that I called Siri a bitch (which she totally is) and I’ve decided it’s probably time for me to call it a night. I assume having personal feelings of hatred and indifference towards fictional characters that answer questions means I’m unstable again today.

Just another Monday around here…