My very American, 4th of July celebration

No, I do not have plans for the 4th of July. It’s on a Wednesday and the Germans are not hosting a fireworks celebration nationwide so that we can celebrate not being British. Shocking, considering all of Germany jumps at the chance to light fireworks up. In the past ten minutes, I have actually heard two fireworks go off in town for no reason. Or maybe Spain won. Who knows.

Seriously, being in the middle of a German fireworks show is kind of like being stuck in the middle of New Years at home, 4th of July, a birthday party and maybe a good bombing, though I myself have never been a part of a rocket attack so I’m just making an assumption there.

I don’t know what the real rules are around here about fireworks (because my German advisory team REFUSES to find me the book of The Official Book of Rules of Life in Germany that I know they all receive at birth as a gift and a warning about behaving in life) but I do know that you can buy them and light them off yourself. There’s no just going to the nearest body of water where some old man with a team of football players launch them off a ramp over the water for safety, even though one person always ends up losing a finger.

Nope. Around here they launch them off the streets, the tops of buildings, across rivers, in parks, out office windows, and sometimes, which I find ZUPA exciting, at each other. The Germans may be a serious bunch for the most part, but when it comes to fireworks, they love to light things on fire.

I should just maybe check with my neighbors and see if they actually want to celebrate with us and in honor of sometimes wishing England would sink, we could run through the sprinkler, lay in the sun, bbq and light things on fire together.

Oh. Yes. Because those are the other things I’m going to do. Typical American fun. Lay in grass in my inappropriately sized swimsuit on a blanket, frolic through a sprinkler because we’re too cheap for a pool and grill the hell out of some chicken wings, also while eating (drinking) an enormous amount of blue cheese. And then maybe I’ll light something on fire and paint a flag on my face. I figure the only thing I’m missing is a Kenny Chesney cd and a cooler full of ice cold Budweiser and I’m two items away from a white trash 4th of July celebration.

Or I could just set up a photo booth like this in my backyard and invite a few friends over and we could take some really classy, American photos.

Totally a normal way to show how patriotic you are. I’m considering it.

God Bless America, indeed.