German wins all around

So there were two German wins last night and I am pumped to be in The Fatherland this weekend.

First, Germany beat Greece and I woke up this morning with German flags still painted on my face and German flag wristbands still on my wrists. I also woke up on the couch in my clothes but that’s a whole other issue. That part stems more around eating pancakes at 1am after the game and not so much the vodka consumption during the game. There is a difference.

Don’t hate them because they beat Greece. Hate them because they’re fabelhaft.

So this morning on Facebook a friend asks, Don’t you feel a little bit bad for Greece? and my first thought was, No, I don’t, they’re awful. And honestly, it’s not my job to feel bad for Greece for losing a football match just because the entire world is supposed to feel badly for Greece in general and look, I’m going there in July and I’ll do Greece a solid by draining my bank account and then the world order will be restored and I won’t be such an asshole anymore, right?

Bigger point is, Greece lost, Germany won and I had the opportunity to spend at least an hour teaching Germans how to high-five, which I’m awesome at and they’re not. After the second goal, I jumped out of my seat and turned around to high-five any of the thirty Germans sitting behind me and not one had an idea of what the hell I was doing. In fact, two of them looked startled as though I was going to smash them in the face with my hand. So then I screamed high-fiiiiiiive, like Borat, and made my friend high-five me enthusiastically until we had an understanding of my intentions. Then they were all like, Ahhhhhh sooooo, ZUPA! and we had a high-five fest for the rest of the game.

My work around here is never done, I tell ya.

So then I get home and go to the bathroom to wash up and I see that I have a few missed fb messages, emails and a twitter reply and I’m all, huh, that’s weird, I don’t write much on Twitter but then I see it.

OHDEARSWEETBABYJESUS FLULA HAS WRITTEN BACK TO ME!!! I started screaming like I was being murdered, causing confusion and chaos in my house and it was 1am and I come running out, jumping around, waving my phone over my head screaming, HE WROTE ME AND I win, I win, I bet we’re almost friends, I win!

Wait. We all remember who Flula is, right? He was my springtime obsession here in Germany. He has turned me and my gal Sandy into idiom freaks??

Meet Flula again. He is so amazing.

I win because I have been asking Flula questions weekly and referring him to my blog and expressing my desire to be friends with him, kind of like his American sidekick living in HIS country while he can be my German sidekick living in MY country and two days ago I asked him to tell me what the German version of HERDING CATS is and he and I had this exchange:

Obviously I’m going to write him back this weekend so we can discuss paralleling and such. I’m also considering sending him a video blog just for him, where I can maybe ask him why in the hell Germans get all “fox-devils-wild” when they’re super mad. It’s true. Ask a German. When they get mad and frustrated, where you’d get all UGGGGGGHHHH and bullshit in America and want to smash something, they say they’re all, FOX-DEVILS-WILD.

Ummm OH REALLY. Sounds good. Please tell me more.

So again, in summary, I herz das Valterland.

5 thoughts on “German wins all around

  1. Steven says:

    The locals here already knew high fiving- I watched the game with a mixed crowd of Germans and Greeks, and there was plenty of double high fiving after every goal.

    • unapologeticmoxie says:

      @steven, that makes me more hopeful. But, as an American, I’m always happy to teach a good high five. It’s kind of my job. Now what can I teach Thursday night, though???

  2. Jere says:

    You crack me up!! Omg…I’m kinda sorta almost a little bit jealous of your life. I sure hope I get to see you in November.

    • unapologeticmoxie says:

      Um JERE, 1. I will be in the front row, hoping you leap right in front of me and 2, you will be staying at my house if you are close. Miss your pretty face. Come visit.

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