The Challenge to be German

So today I’ve decided not to be miserable, primarily because I have no time. I have, because I am so smart sometimes, accepted a challenge to prove that I deserve to stay in Europe and mostly, Germany.

Now normally, I’m not going to let anyone tell me that I have anything to prove because in case you all forgot, the world, and most certainly Germany, is NOT THE BOSS OF ME.


I spent another week with the Internationals and was reminded of the following:

I have lived here for three years, and can only order beer and say bizarre things such as,

Blue light


How much does it cost?

Ohhh, isn’t your shirt fancy. Except I can’t say “isn’t your shirt” anything. I can only actually say the word fancy.

The answer to any question I’m asked is either, Nein, because I say no to everything (though I still can’t figure out if no is nein or kein or ni, but does it really matter?), or fabelhaft, which is fabulous, just because I like to shout it.

And I’m great at colors.

I blame my slow progress with German on travel and also on my love of adjectives. Who needs to learn verbs and nouns when you can just walk around making declarations about what things look like, even if I can’t actually name the thing.

I am so charming, I know.

This discussion with my German advisory team (yes, I have a full team of German advisers at this point) led further into a discuss of passing the German citizenship test. You didn’t know there was such a thing? Well of course there is. It’s Germany and they want you to be tested to stay…I have not been subjected to such a test, but in looking further, I found this sample test.

All things Germans expect you to know

Instantly, it appears as though I’ll fail. Even all of my advisers think I’ll fail. What great faith they have in me.

So the test comes at the end of the summer, along with a test to see if I can make good on my promise to be conversational. No one thinks I can do it and so I asked what my reward would be.

With an eye roll or two, they all said, “You get to stay in Germany, Heather.”

And what a prize that is.