I should not be left alone to browse the internet for long periods of time.
Earlier this week I was looking through my gmail when a message came through,
Subject: Re: Adult private dance class
I jumped up straight and looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching me. Adult dance class? Like what? Dirty sexy dance class? Who was emailing me? Emailing me BACK, I mean? Good god, I thought. When did I send the original email, to who and was I drunk? Yes, yes. I obviously must have been drunk but then I couldn’t remember the last time I would have been drinking and determined enough to seek out adult private special dance time.
God I’m a trainwreck sometimes, I thought, as I clicked open the email while closing my eyes. Squinting and opening one eye slightly I saw the word Irish and breathed a sigh of relief. I knew what I had done.
I had come back from a conference with the brilliant idea that I would take Irish dance class this spring. First, I love watching girls Irish dance. Two, it couldn’t hurt, as I have to start prepping for bathing suit season.
So I guess I forgot that I had sent an email. Phew. Just a normal dance class.
Until today. Today I threw myself over the edge after looking at the American Apparel page and signed myself up (and a few friends) for not only Irish Dance class, but Stripper Pole Class in the city. I couldn’t help myself. I blame all of the jumpers and leotards and Flashdance outfits. I got way too excited about turning my whole wardrobe into a scene from Flashdance and needed a few places to wear said outfits. Let’s preview a few items I’m looking to pick up when I go to the store tomorrow.
Because every legit dance outfit starts with a retro bodysuit. It MAKES YOU A DANCER.
Then I figure I should pair that with these. For the pole class, of course.
Lastly, I came across this picture of a girl on the American Apparel site and I just had to stop and stare.
So there. Now you know where my mind is at today. In the bodysuit aisle of American Apparel, that’s where. It’s going to be like Flashdance up in my house ALL SPRING.
This time last year: Masturbation FAIL. Lesson Learned.