Best track suit (outfit) IN THE WORLD

Today I realized why I don’t write on the blog every day. I run out of things to say. Or I run out of things to say that don’t sound insane. And so lucky for everyone, today is more of a showcase of the new addition to my wardrobe and I’m sorry if you’re all jealous because you SHOULD be.

Stunning so far, isn't it??

It took me two years to obtain this track suit from a friend in Kazakhstan but I WIN! I now have it to wear and show off all around Germany, though they WILL NOT appreciate it one bit. Too flashy, I guess. I know this because I wore the jacket through security in Vienna on the way back home from Tirana and the security man asked if I was FROM KAZ, which is kind of a funny question because DO I LOOK LIKE I’M FROM KAZ?

Why thanks for asking.

Plus he was looky at me all judgy like so I just stated flatly, “AMERICAN. GIFT.” That got me an eye roll and he told me to keep moving.

I bet it was his jealousy, not the fact that I was being an outrageous American, that set him off. I felt bad for him because I understood how empty his life must be without such an amazing outfit. And if the Austrians hate me for the track suit, the Germans are going to like it even less.

Back view makes me feel like a boxer.

Except MY GERMAN CE FRIENDS, who are sometimes amused by my ridiculousness, though I suppose probably just to my face, but either way. When I told my German friends about the track suit and how excited I was, they did give me the typical, What is she talking look, but didn’t seem all that judgy. They instead bought me orange Ray-Bans to go with said track suit. I assume they recognize the beauty of the whole ensemble and have a true appreciation of the aggressiveness of the outfit.

Or they’re fucking with me, which is fine because I love my outfit anyway.

Half-way to smashing.

Moral of this story is that my friends from Kazakhstan and Germany are awesome and so is my new outfit. Tell me about it.