So let’s get it out of the way. The Pats lost. And yes, I’m quiet because I’m a terrible loser and I take my Pats football very seriously and last night was a horrible game to watch. The only site I could bring myself to look at was Masshole Sports because I know I can count on that site to just be belligerent about the loss.
And yes, I am belligerent but just too tired to even find a picture of Eli, draw inappropriate items in his mouth on paint and then post it. You know it’s a depressing day when I can’t even handle that.
It’s not just the post game depression I have to deal with. I have to own up to a bet, which if I was smart, I wouldn’t have made in the first place.
My friend Joe is coming to visit in two weeks and he is a Giants fan. A typical, loud-mouthed, asshole, I love Eli and hate Tom Brady, can’t wait for the rematch, I love being from New York, douchebag Giants fan. He’ll take no offense to this, as he could say the same about me living in New England and loving the Pats.
But historically, it’s never good when Boston fans and New York fans make bets. Ours was no different. Money was too boring and we already talk enough trash together and so for the bet, we settled on public humiliation, something we can both appreciate, though it’ll be tricky doing it over here.
So he’s coming to Germany and bringing ALL of his Giants gear–jerseys/hats/sweats/whatever other awful stuff they wear, all surely sporting the Manning name–and I now have to wear it all around Europe while he takes pictures and points and laughs at me. He will also get full access to my facebook page to post said pictures and I’m sure he’ll tag a few friends along the way.
I would rather spend a whole day in a fish tank filled with snakes while clowns and male strippers danced around me naked than wear a Manning jersey anywhere. Not only that but I had planned on taking him to castles and maybe a few big cities and I cannot deal with the thought of being photographed looking like a douche from NY. Take offense, please, because I mean every word of it.
And today, when I asked him NICELY, EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO HIM TODAY, where he would like to go in Europe he says, “I want to dress you up like Giants doll while I’m pointing and laughing at you and post the pic on your FB page for all the world to see.”
Should be a blast.