Germans v. Americans: The Battle of the Road Signs

I don’t typically compare Germans to Americans because
1. I enjoy making a game out of which I hear is not nice
2. It never turns out well
3. Apparently its not nice to stereotypically compare countries.

But I will today, when it comes to safety on the road and road signs.

It’s no surprise the Germans are much better drivers than Americans. I’d even go as far to say as much better than most of the world. They have great cars and this little thing called the Autobahn and there is no fucking around on the road in Germany. People are doing 200 mph to get to nowhere. There is no such thing as being an oblivious asshole in the left lane looking at the scenery because you don’t want to be in the right lane doing 60 mph where you belong. Or you can do this and just realize all of a sudden that a German is screaming up on you going 200 and he is not slowing down.

Because he doesn’t have to. You’re the moron in the wrong lane and you better get the fuck out of the way before you cause an accident…So that’s the logic in Germany. You get to drive insanely fast because you know how to drive and people follow the rules to a tee. I’ve seen MAYBE three accidents total on the highway in over two years here. I’d see that between Old Town and DC in ten minutes if I were still living back home, most likely caused by sunshine or texting. Seriously. You have no idea how many times I sat on 395 in DC for hours because some moron hit the person in front of him after he reach the top of the hill and the sun blinded him. Really.awesome.DC.drivers.

But anyway, these are not the reasons the Germans are bad ass in this case. The reasons they are awesome is because they take driving responsibly so seriously, they are going to scare you and your children into following the rules with their billboards and road signs.

Why fuck around with something worthless Americans would put out, like “Click it or Ticket”, which really, does that even get anyone to put your seat belt on? The rhyme is stupid and a ticket isn’t going to make me go out of my way to follow a law on the American streets.

No. If you want something done, the Germans know that reminding everyone about this little thing called death is the best way to handle things. Tossing in some sad kids crying is just brilliant. This is one of my favorites.

Lars is NOT happy.

Then we have a worthless sign from the States.

Not sure if the sign is referring to Jesus or the cops but either way, worthless sign.

Hmm. Which signs would work more? Kids crying about people on clouds, or a picture of an unused seat belt.

Then we have Lea, who is also wicked sad.

And lastly, they brought the grandparents into this.
Poor Opa is burning in the car while Max is watching. Now THAT is tragic.

Personally, I love these signs, which yes, I’m sure makes me twisted and all levels of wrong. In the U.S., they simply wouldn’t exist. They are too real, too graphic and too scary for the type of children that are being raised back home. One of these signs would pop up on the streets and shit would just go crazy. Groups like MOTHERS AGAINST SCARY STREET SIGNS would pop up, blindfolds would be put on children or shades would be pulled down on car windows.

And so, in the case of WHO HAS BETTER ROAD SIGNS the score is: Germans 1, Americans, 0.

***All German road sign pics are compliments of my lovely friend Tracy. Click on them to see them close-up. It’s worth it, I promise.