So as if the constant reminder of my burned counter isn’t enough, on Thursday my German housekeeper came and just knowing she was going to see it stressed me the fuck out. Honestly, she’s a lovely woman and I couldn’t live without her now, but jesus, she’s got guilt trips down like you would not believe. Seriously, I have to pre-clean the day before she comes so the house is acceptable for cleaning.
Between the guilt and the scoldings she leaves me in letters and emails, it’s all very stressful, which is exactly why I left her a note about the counter.
“Dear Lilo, I burned the counter this week while cooking. Please be careful because it’s peeling and bubbled and we have to replace it soon. It’s hidden under the towel and the flower pot. Sorry. Thank you, Heather”
Oh. And the fucking candle she’s referring to? Yeah. I put my brand new, extra large and lovely lilac candle from Yankee Candle, which was A BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM MY MOTHER, on top of her payment for the week, in case some crazy wind was to blow away the money (no idea why a random wind storm would occur in my house but I’ve had weirder things happen) and I guess in Germany anything attached to or touching your payment automatically becomes your bonus for the week.
That was MY candle.