Stuttgarter Frühlingsfest and me, flexible

So tonight is my first night attending the Fest this season AND it’s Cinco de Mayo, which should mean nothing because I’m not Mexican but I love to celebrate holidays that center around tequila so I’m IN.

Though I wonder. Will the Germans be willing to recognize a Mexican holiday today and serve tequila shots at the tables? I hope they don’t get all stuffy and selfish and keep it strictly to that cherry crap that is some version of liquid acid.

Anyway. This week I was trying to be all well-behaved with the drinking and the eating and the running through the forest and whatnot but it’s FEST and I love a good German fest like the next gal and once Tracy found me a dirndl, my excitement level shot through the roof. Then I got the thirst and I know I’m now in for a night that could be a disaster.

Then I got this email from Tracy about her friend’s dirndl I am borrowing for tonight: “Ummm…if this is the dirndl I saw her in last year, you may want to wear some bike shorts under it.”

Well, well, well. Considering I have a tendency to not be able to contain myself or my happy feet, we are going to have a problem.
1. I love to dance on the tables. The drunker I get, the more I jump up and down. Come to think of it, I’m like one of those little, Mexican jumping beans. Those are Mexican, aren’t they? If so, fitting. If not, disregard.
2. I do not own biker shorts. That’s absurd. What I do own, however, is Hooters booty shorts. And I own 50s style bloomers that are hot pink with little hearts all over them. Decisions, decisions.
3. I will have to refrain from acting like a can-can girl. You get two Pils into me and that excitable German song (the one that’s all, La la la la la….) on and I am a shaking skirt machine. That is going to be dangerous tonight.
4. This shit is going to be all over facebook tomorrow. Awesome. Just how I like to spend a Friday. Reviewing my very public behavior from the night before while drinking Gatorade and wanting to lay my head on my desk. Perfect.

Well, I just got the call. I have to get going so I can go home and change.

Here’s to dancing on tables and drinking beers bigger than your head.

PS. This bit of awesomeness is what happened last time I tossed on my costume dirndl.

Stuff I do for fun when drinking and wearing costumes.

I was totally going to try to black my chest out on this one but to be honest, I don’t fucking know how to photoshop stuff, seems like too much effort and the best part of the photo is that I am wicked flexible. That and yes, Moxie. They’re real.