So first, this is what it looks like in Germany today. Really. I actually took this picture last night in my yard, but the rest of Germany looks like this too. Promise. And considering its 60 degrees today, (if you want celsius, go ahead and divide by 3 and subtract 10 or whatever the blasted formula is) SPRING IS REALLY HERE!
And so. Since it was so nice at lunch, I finished up some drafts that needed approval, sent them off and took a walk to get some juice at the store. Yesterday I deleted my iPod and downloaded all of my most favorite dramatic AND dance songs and so now I’m pumped for long walks so I can listen to my new spring playlist. SO ANYWAY.
As I leave my building and walk towards this fountain, I happen to be jamming out to Pearl Jam, all smiles and not a care in the world when I see a large group of soldiers coming towards me, most in their As, and I instantly realize who they are. They’re from one of our participant delegations, they’re in town for some meeting and last thing I knew, they were upstairs meeting with the General and his staff. But I guess not because now they were about 20 feet from me. All of them. My bosses, all of them, and the foreign delegation, who I’m not going to name because that’s not how I roll.
I take off my headphones and prepare to just wave or say hi quickly if I’m recognized, but then I think maybe I won’t be. I know they know who I am but I’m not in a conference setting. Maybe they won’t recognize me and I’ll just walk by quietly.
But probably not. Because when does that ever happen? So here’s what did happen.
Me: Walking by, makes eye contact with the foreign Colonel and his team and my bosses. I smile and quickly wave and keep walking, as if to say, Hey there, no need to stop, just passing by.
Foreign Colonel (FC): “Heaaaaaaaaaaaaaather!” LOUDLY. Lots of waving. Everyone from my offices stop short when he does and the whole group of 8 turn and stare at me.
Fucking christ. That was quite a welcome.
Me: (Smiling) “Hi, sir! I heard you were in town today! How are you??” I am happy to see his team. They’re all very nice.
FC: (Now two inches from me, as are my bosses) “Ohhh, Heather! Can I kiss you? Yes, I’m going to kiss you.”
Oh dear fuck, this is interesting.
He leans in and kisses me big on the cheeks, hugs me like it’s been a decade and then pulls back, looks at me, puts both hands on my cheeks and says, very loudly, again, in front of this whole meeting,
FC: “Well, you just get prettier every time I see you. Aren’t you just so pretty.” I look out of the corner of my eye at my bosses and they are giving me that, why are you so ridiculous look, which for the record I am NOT but I can’t really explain this because I WAS JUST GOING TO GET SOME JUICE.
Me: “Thank you, sir. It’s so nice to see you. Blah blah something about work. More blah and then, I hope to see you at a conference again soon.”
FC: “We will see, we will see.” He is looking at me like I’m a doll or a puppy. I’m not sure which.
Now my bosses are staring at me and they start walking him away. I wave and smile and walk away, kind of laughing to myself.
Even when I try to behave and have a normal day, something weird happens.
I turned my iPod back on as I walked away and on came Hail, Hail by Pearl Jam, which I have included for your listening pleasure. Might be time to lace up the sneaks tonight and get busy.