MY LIFE IS ALMOST COMPLETE

Ok.  Wow.  So I leave work today thinking my night is going to be relaxing but then somehow, it becomes FANTASTIC without even trying and ohgoodgod let’s go over the developments.

1. I traded wine for bloody marys because when I mentioned a cocktail to my Mr. H he gave me the side eye and then the, Aren’t we trying to be healthy? look which to me meant if I dump vodka in tomato juice and add some pepper it’s more like a cleanse than a drink.  Master rationalizer, I am.  So there’s that.

2. That was right after talking to Jenny who is COMING TO VISIT ME.  Like maybe in 3 weeks.  I cannot tell you how excited I am to see one of my oldest and dearest friends from DC.  We have already tossed out Paris as a meeting spot and moving on from there and wooo hooo, I cannot wait to see her!

After almost ten years of friendship, we still look sassy. Bonus.

And then, as if the night wasn’t going well enough, I get a text from a friend telling me, holy GOD CAN IT BE TRUE, that DAVID SEDARIS IS COMING TO SEE ME IN EUROPE?????????? Oh good god, thank you stars above, MY LIFE IS ALMOST COMPLETE.  Completion of life will be when I meet him, attack him, have him sign my book and gush and gush and gush about HOW MUCH I LOVE A GAY MAN.  He is surely going to think I’ve lostMYSHIT.  Which I will have.  Clearly.

*kind of considering blowing a gay man

And his shows are as follows:

Monday, March 14, 2011 Munich, Germany – Evening reading at Literaturhaus München http://www.literaturhaus-muenchen.de/

Tuesday, March, 15, 2011 Vienna, Austria – Evening reading at Hauptbücherei, Vienna http://www.buechereien.wien.at/de/programm/veranstaltungskalender/890

Wednesday, March 16, 2011 Berlin, Germany – Reading at Kino Babylon, Berlin http://www.babylonberlin.de/literaturlive.htm

 Thursday, March 17, 2011 Cologne, Germany – Reading at the litColgne, Cologne http://www.litcologne.de/events/9

Now.  Don’t any of you DARE fucking buy out the tickets before I get mine or I will stab your mother and kidnap your children and sell them.

I’m off to buy tickets and find my Sedaris books and plan road trips.  Happy Wednesday to ME.