This list will not be the complete list, but hey, it can be the start to my, “Things I’ve learned in 40 years” right? Holy god, 30 is enough…40 is just too much. So here is a random list of things of 30 things I’ve learned in the past 3 decades.
1. I don’t like eggs. It’s like in that movie “The Runaway Bride” or whatever. I just don’t like them. I try to, every Saturday, and I fail miserably.
2. My hair is blonde in the summer and reddish brown in the winter. No hair dye required, it just happens. What my hair is during the spring and fall is the result of the salon. Now you know.
3. I think that by the time you’re 30, you have the best friends you’ll ever have—your siblings and the ones from childhood, high school, college and your early 20s that made it through the worst with you and came out of all the mess and the fun, still holding your hand.
4. We all turn into our parents.
5. You really will stop growing around 17. I always hoped for one more inch to get me over 5′, but the spurt never came.
6. Having your heart broken a million times is a fair trade off in finding the one you know you are meant to spend the rest of your life with. You’ll never believe that growing up, but it’s true.
7. When you think you’re fat in college, you’re probably not. When you think you’re fat ten years later, you probably are. Look at it picture from ten years ago if you don’t believe me.
8. No material possession will ever be worth more than words someone has said, written or expressed in a photo.
9. You can never take enough pictures or write enough life stories. Even if it’s just notes or a random snapshot that at the time means nothing, it will mean something to you in twenty years.
10. You can never make people stay.
11. Best friends will sit next to you in silence and feel your pain, not try to fix it. They can talk to you with just their eyes. They will hold your hair, your hand, and your chin up, even if you hate them for it. They will show up at your house, especially when they aren’t invited and they will sleep in your bed when you are scared or most likely hungover. They will make you laugh until your stomach hurts and they will keep your secrets until the day they die. Hearing the sound of their voice is an instant remedy and if you were to never see them again, part of you would disappear with them.
12. You can have your cake and eat it too. It just takes some skill and practice.
13. 20 year old girls are a fad, 30 year olds are classic. Classic will never get old.
14. Running and green vegetables are the only trick to losing half of your ass. And it sucks.
15. Beauty fades but wit and intelligence get better with age….just like red wine, which I don’t drink, so I wouldn’t know.
16. Santa Claus does exist in a sense, even when you find out he isn’t the one delivering your train set every year. He exists because he’s magic and you can always find magic in something. The Easter Bunny on the other hand is just ridiculous and stupid.
17. Heels make any outfit look better.
18. Sunshine and fresh air can fix just about everything.
19. Confessing your secrets and fears under a blanket at 1am to your sister will do more for you than any amount of time spend in a confessional.
20. Some people will never be happy for you. Success and happiness are the best forms of revenge. Two lessons that go hand in hand…
21. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. Live your life like a fabulous journey and don’t stop to worry about where you’ll end up. You’ll end up there, it’s just how you get there and how much fun it was that matters in the end.
22. No amount of money will make you happy. Find a job that makes you a better person.
23. Thanksgiving dinner is the best meal on the face of the Earth. No $100 steak or $400 five star, four course meal will ever make you as happy as turkey dinner. With cranberry sauce. And gravy, lots of gravy.
24. There is no city better than Boston when it comes to sports. I will never even bother to debate someone on this. (I will, if you make me. But prepare to lose and be verbally assaulted)
25. You can never buy self respect and confidence will make you more beautiful than any amount of lip gloss, bronzer or hair gel.
26. Your gut is always, always, always right.
27. Fight like you mean it. Have the type of sex that makes you blush. Love someone as though you’ll never see another sunrise. That’s what the best relationships are made of. And patience if you’re loving me.
28. We all still wish on stars. I don’t know why, but I won’t stop.
29. Telling a good joke and giving a great blow job is a skill set worth more than anything you will ever learn in 7th grade Home Ec.
30. I live my life thinking that it is better to burn out, bursting in the air like a firework, than fading away, slowly and quietly. This isn’t a black and white picture…it’s my life and I’m here to paint the world red.
Here’s to no regrets and never looking back. Goodbye 20s!