And so I’m not a baker…

DSC_0393-1This doesn’t surprise me, really.  I can barely cook, forget baking.  I can make someone the best grilled cheese on the face of the earth, a mean meat sauce, and mac and cheese.  I can make a great onion dip, I’m not too shabby at stuffed mushrooms, and I can manage most crock pot dinners.  And chicken, I can make most chicken dishes, primarily a marsala or a chicken parm.  But I am really no good in the kitchen, unless I’m taste testing, and then I’m great.  We can’t all be good at everything and I think I have a few skills thatDSC_0391-1 trump how to fold in egg whites, so there, (insert name of famous pastry chef). 

So I am working on baking for a reason, a selfish one at that.  I want to win over the old women in my neighborhood.  I wanted to bake them blueberry cakes, so I asked my mom to send me her recipe, which looks suspiciously similar to the one on AllRecipes, hmph, so much for that family secret.  I figured I’d bake them a cake, walk it over and leave it with them, wave and be on my DSC_0394-1way.  If they tried to speak German to me, I’d point to my house and have a one liner prepared, something like, Enjoy your cake from your neighbors!  Or, here’s to trying something that isn’t a strudel!  Or, sorry you aren’t France or you’d have the croissant and I wouldn’t feel like pushing breakfast pastry on you!  From what I can tell, most Germans, well, male Germans, settle for eating that slab of meat between a roll, with a coffee.  That is disgusting.  Try a cake from the American cake girl, or so that was my thought.

I had all the ingredients and tools set up, though I decided to first play around with raspberry cakes and THEN do the blueberry ones, once I got the batter right.  I realized quickly my problem–I just have no love for baking.  I don’t stare fondly at pats of butter or play DSC_0396-1with flour like I’m tossing it in the wind.  I don’t stir with great passion and I certainly can never taste any sort of batter and instantly tell, as I stare off into the distance, JUST what is missing and then make it right, like, silly me, you forgot to add a pinch of NUTMEG.DSC_0399-1 (i don’t even know where nutmeg belongs, really)  Anyway, I followed directions to a point and then I thought my batter just looked too dry and I didn’t want it crumbling everywhere when it was cooked so I added more milk and then it was too wet and ah, that is where I must have gone wrong.  It also took 75 minutes to cook, which is absurd, it was only a baby bread pan.

I let it cool for about 3 minutes and then I tasted it.  Somehow all of the raspberries had joined forces and all snuck down to the bottom of the pan, even thought I floured their asses like a baby’s bottom.  So what I was left with was a yummy, sugar coated cake on top and sticky, wet raspberries on the bottom, which if you squish the two parts together and eat them at the same time with your eyes closed, it doesn’t taste half bad.  It was a bust, though, all in all, and I will try the blueberry version today or tomorrow.  Here is the end result, though.  Not half bad, right?  Good thing this isn’t a cooking blog or else I’d be in trouble…

DSC_0403-1Alright, I have a writing project to finish today that is slightly more important than my quest to become Martha Stewart.  (i’m kidding)  Until tomorrow…..